Ray, No-nonsense-whatsoever-defender

Ray has joined the Minums for an undisclosed fee, understood to be in the region of SGD2.20 (inclusive of GST; equivalent to the price of an Iced Milk Tea at Yaakun).

Manager Charlie Chan said: “We are delighted to welcome a player of Ray’s ability, experience and character to the team.”

“He has been a fantastic player through the years and not only will he strengthen our defensive options, he will also bring with him a winning mentality and level of maturity which can only be positive for the players around him.”

The defender made multiple guest appearances for Minnows since 2009 before both player and club made mutual consent to take advantage of each other.

He will bring a welcome versatility and vast experience to Minnows. Ostensibly a central defender, he can also play across the back, Charlie could have healthy options at the back this season.

MNA: So finally, Team Minnows will be participating in their virgin league, D2D Sun 9am League, after almost 4 years of infighting… I mean fighting. Any differences do you see in terms of match preparation, mentality or game tempo etc?

I think everyone is still going to treat the game as every other normal game, which to me will mostly be a bad thing. Personally, I need to feel more nervous in order to reach my peak. I think we may be too relaxed so we need to remind each and everyone to take the game up another notch and get the W. Our finishing has been poor and our long losing streak is not going to do us any favours.

MNA: Before we continue, are you hot in that costume?

No, I’m cool.

MNA: We think you are so freaking hot in that costume.

Thank you.

Captain Minnows

MNA: We see that you will be playing in the 3rd and last division of the league against 8 other teams, is that a concern?

I do not know what the standard is going to be like but I believe this is just the beginning of the better things to come for Minnows. If however we take up the last 3 spots at the end of the season, it will pretty much be the beginning of the end.

MNA: You had been the team captain for the 2007/08 season and re-appointed again in the current season, any differences or challenges between now and then in leading the team?

There was more passion and angst in 07/08. Every game was a war. I believe this was what led us to better seasons in the following years. Presently, we need to rethink what Team Minnows mean to each and everyone of us. I for one, had other intentions to leave the club to pursue my other interests. However, I realised Minnows is what gives me belief and it helps with my other aspects of life.

MNA: What are the current strengths and weaknesses of Team Minnows?

When we make every game a war, then we will see how good Minnows really is.

MNA: What do you hope to achieve in your first season in the league?

Of course I want the wins, but for the bigger idea of bringing back the old school Minnows back.

MNA: Do you like your manager, Charlie Chan? Heard that he always repeats his instructions.

If practice makes perfect and if practice is to constantly repeat the same thing over and over again, I don’t see why he will be a burden.

MNA: Something about yourself, what is your favourite pastime?

Touch cats, kick dogs, slam keyboard while playing LAN.

MNA: Anything to say to the lads?

Don’t be a pussy, because the new generation of kids are becoming more and more like that. Be a macho father.

I mean, c’mon, look at my costume…

That’s the end of the interview and we wish Team Minnows all the best in their upcoming season. Lastly, our staff and Melvin had a simple meal together.

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Hungry wolves.

Pizza Served On Shield

Minnowsnewasia interviews Team Minnows Manager, Kenny Wenger, to find out more.

MNA: Kenny Wenger, what do you think of the result? Do you think two teams deserve the draw?

KW: Oh yes.. I mean, no, no, no. Certainly not, we don’t deserve to draw but to win, to me, we the rightful winners. Yes, the opponents scored the equaliser, but we deserve to win. They scored two, we scored two, but we win.

MNA: So why do you think you rightfully deserve it, Wenger?

KW: (Silent and touching nose)

MNA: Alright, so what do you think of Minnows’ play today and the goals you’ve scored?

KW: It’s just fantastic, fantastic, we controlled the game, we controlled the ball, we controlled our legs, we controlled their minds, we controlled everything. We created a couple of chances and we scored a brace. Especially the goal Mohd Ming Ting scored with his face, he connected it so well with Jesper’s corner kick. His face was red but he saw it over the line when he opened his eyes, so it’s a very good goal from a Midas touch. I would say this could be the goal of the week, the month, maybe the season, who knows?

MNA: What about the Community Shield? Is it true that it will be split into two after this result?

KW: No no, I don’t think so. We will keep the Shield as we paid for i… (someone in the background shouted, “NO, not that Wenger!”) Ah yes, yes, as we paid for the Pizza and the kitchen ran out of plates. So we put the Pizza on the Shield, and then we take the Pizza from the Shield. It will be illogical to split the nice plate.. shield.

MNA: So do you still think you deserve the draw, Wenger?

KW: (Takes out HP and fiddles with it)

MNA: So Wenger, what’s your prediction for this season? Top 10 finish or toying with relegation?

KW: Toy your… it’s hard to say, but we are certainly aiming to be in the top 10. Let’s hope the season turns out well for us. To all Minnows fans, continue to support us, and a great team is on the way. And please, stop asking the same question.

The deal currently being negotiated by Kenny Huang, and his Far West partner has already laid the blueprint to make Team Minnows the wealthiest club on the planet.

A Kopitiam source has been given an insight into the ambitious plans to launch Team Minnows in China, with internet, sponsorship and promotions aimed to push Team Minnows beyond the means of even the richest clubs.

The source describes the plans as taking Team Minnows to a scale as yet unseen in Singapore football by tapping into the Chinese markets.

Ng & Lin: O$P$ - Owners of Team Minnows

As the Far West group aims to wrest control from Singaporean owners Wei Wen Lin and Hong Riang Ng, the source believes US companies from Warmart to Epple could seek to work with Team Minnows to make enormous inroads within the Chinese markets. That would eventually enable Team Minnows to compete to buy the world’s best players in every position.

While it has been suggested that there are alternative bidders, Lin and Ng would like the banks and the Minnas board to push up the price to include cash for the two shareholders, but the hedge fund backing this bid is in no mood to be stampeded into paying more for control.

The Far West Sovereign Wealth fund knows it is offering Team Minnows their greatest opportunity to compete on a world stage with the financial big hitters, a chance that might not materialise again.

The new investors from the Far West believe that the shares are not worth more than the debt, and are therefore worthless, and they have no intention of paying Lin and Ng the premium price they have been demanding.

The smelly Singaporeans valued Team Minnows at £800 million, but have since dropped their valuation to £600 million. The offer on the table, though, is to cover the debts of £350 million, notably paying off the HongLiang Finance’s near-£240 million debt.

That is where Lin and Ng’s Achilles heel lies, and the HongLiang Finance is keen for this deal to proceed.

On 8 November 2009, 9 players arrived for match warm-up at Bukit Timah field. One outfield player and the goalkeeper had to pull out due to last minute work commitment, and one player came in only at the 20^th minute to make Minnows’ total strength to ten. Nicholas was unexpectedly called up to take command in between the goal posts, but he was up to the task and put in a fine performance.

Effectively, Minnows was playing only with nine players, with one defender playing with a limping leg. Insufficient players, zero substitution, injured player, low form, hot weather – all these constituted a severe blow to Minnows’ confidence. Low morale did not contribute positively to Minnows’ game. Although there were some moments of rally and chances, lack of belief was the main downfall of Minnows’ performance.

Perhaps, ideally it should come up to a point that the score line should not matter anymore. What matters more is how football is being played, and ultimately, the enjoyment of teamwork demonstrated on the field. The possible reasons of conceding one goal, two goals, and trailing behind could be caused by mistakes, stand-in goalkeeper and soft goals etc. However, as long as good football is being played; trying one’s best to put up a good performance; when encouragement is in abundance – there is no reason why Minnows cannot enjoy their game regardless of the result.

In Minnows’ 69^th game, with a 2-3 defeat, it was an enjoyable game that one can remember. Good passes, teamwork, goals scored and conceded, the game was played with a winning belief. Of course, that game was not inflicted with so many issues as compared to the 70^th game. However, the point being, Team Minnows should not be affected so much by side issues. While on the pitch, there must be belief, fighting spirit and importantly, faith. It takes eleven motivated players to make a ‘team’. Coming back to reality, this is Team Minnows for you today.

Minnows GK in Hot Action

Looking at the top left corner, yes, you are right, it is a long ball from the opponent while Wenger was posing for the lady fans… 1-0 to the opponent. The half ended 2-1 to the opponent, with Wenger screaming and throwing firstaid icepacks at the players in the dressing room. Bizarre…

What did Wenger try to prove? A tactical move from the genius? Or plain …?

Brought to you by Minnowsnewsasia.com

Rafael Kenny “De Pigeone” is currently sidelined with a fake 2 months MC for various excuses such as conjunctivitis, lousai, dengue fever, yellow fever, scarlet fever, scarlet johannsson fever etc etc. Reports show that he really is doing something else on the sidelines, spies uncovering his intent on getting a “How to overthrow Fergie” phd.

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Little does he know, he had embarked on the wrong course. Hard work will soon go down to drain when he realize which Fergie this phd was for …

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Meanwhile, I would like to give shout out that Liverpool sucks. Benetiz scold Ferguson and now look who the fool is HAHA! Pool ain’t going to win shit this season. Shouldn’t have sold Crouch .. should have bought Heskey … Pool just don’t have the depth and talent to make it. Man U is now back to where it is suppose to be. Kicking ass .. period .. and we all know this is the truth.

Minnows marched on with a hard fought 2-0 victory  last Sat. On loan Striker Yi Cong opportunistic strike and Melvin’s ala Owen in WC 98 dribbling passed the whole defense and leaving all the defenders for dead before using his alien skin nike boots to power home from 15 yards made the headlines in this bruising encounter.

Even without the influential Kenny Wenger who failed a late fitness test for this match, -paparazzi took  photos of him in Beijing supporting the Spore table tennis team on Sunday fueled doubts that his dream is to play table tennis- Minnows somehow managed to dig deep in the first half and played like they had 12 men instead of 10 men. Hongliang was virtuoso in defense. It culminated with the defense splitting pass in the 2nd half that earmarked Melvin’s mazy run and the finish did not disappoint.

With 2 wins out of 2, Minnows’ new found belief looks like the push for next season’s CL is impossibly possible!

Watch this space OR subscribe our RSS feeds for more juicy Minnow action now.

Likewise, another classy display by number 13 Kelvin was nearly forgotten when he was sent crushing down by a needless tackle from the opponent. He was substituted with next Sat’s early kick off day in mind.

With a good start to the new season (5-2 win), more exciting photos and goals are installed.

They make their moves with the goal in mind doing so with grace and composure while avoiding unnecessary flourishes along the way.

They are beauty, muscle, and philosophy embodied. Compare this with the floozy, long winded artisans from Arsenal or the crude, bludgeoning-wielding caveman from Chelsea. Liverpool is okay and look half descent when Torres and Gerrard are in tandem.

Sure Berbatov, would give us an extra dimension in attack. But a team can only field 11 players at any given time, and having a silky target man up front may sacrifice Rooney and Tevez. If that’s not travesty I dont know what is.  So buy if he is available but we don’t NEED him

Source: TNP, Singapore, Eugene Lin.

Too many cooks spoil the soup.